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America's least competent criminals : true tales of would-be outlaws who have botched, bungled, and otherwise haplessly but hilariously fumbled their crimes

Author: Chuck Shepherd
Publisher: New York, NY : HarperPerennial, ©1993.
Edition/Format:   Print book : English : 1st edView all editions and formats
Summary:
A rogues' gallery featuring America's most hapless criminals. Crime definitely doesn't seem to pay for such lunkheaded lawbreakers as: the burglar caught red-handed by a returning homeowner because he had become entranced playing with the owner's video game in midcrime; the suspect in a series of vending-machine robberies who posted his $400 bail using a sackful of quarters; the two criminals chased on foot by  Read more...
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Genre/Form: Anecdotes
Miscellanea
Paperback
Document Type: Book
All Authors / Contributors: Chuck Shepherd
ISBN: 0060950021 9780060950026
OCLC Number: 27898018
Notes: "Each story comes from a mainstream daily newspaper or other highly reputable news source"--Introduction.
"By the author of News of the Weird"--Cover.
Description: xvi, 139 pages : illustrations ; 21 cm
Contents: Introduction --
"Hello, 911? I'm wedged in this bank vault" : Clumsy burglars --
"Hi, I'm Butch. I'll be your robber tonight" : Criminal self-identifications --
"Excuse me, when's the next bus?" : The art of the getaway --
"Officer, that man stole my drugs!" : Making it easy for the cops --
"I know this sounds crazy, but" : The modus operandi --
"Trust me" : Dreams and schemes --
"Don't give up your day job" : More bad career choices --
"Officer, I said I've got rugs, man, not drugs!" : Attention-span failures --
"I hate it when that happens" : People who just can't seem to stop --
"Bail on that forgery charge? Will you take a check?" : Miscellaneous brilliant ideas --
"The bank is loaded on Friday; it's payday for cops" : People in the wrong place at the wrong time --
"I didn't do it, and furthermore, I didn't mean to" : Judgment days --
"And the award for outstanding stupidity goes to" : America's least competent criminals --
Sources --
About the author.
Responsibility: Chuck Shepherd.

Abstract:

A rogues' gallery featuring America's most hapless criminals. Crime definitely doesn't seem to pay for such lunkheaded lawbreakers as: the burglar caught red-handed by a returning homeowner because he had become entranced playing with the owner's video game in midcrime; the suspect in a series of vending-machine robberies who posted his $400 bail using a sackful of quarters; the two criminals chased on foot by police from the scene of a burglary who hopped a fence to lose their pursuers. It was the outer perimeter of San Quentin Prison; the man who reported to security guards at a resort that someone had stolen $1000 worth of cocaine from his room. - Back cover.

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