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Dave Barry's homes and other black holes : the happy homeowner's guide to ritual closing ceremonies, Newton's first law of furniture buying, the lethal chemicals man, and other perils of the American dream

Author: Dave Barry
Publisher: New York : Ballantine Books, ©1995.
Edition/Format:   eBook : Document : EnglishView all editions and formats
Database:WorldCat
Summary:
"Mr. Barry is the funniest man in America and we should encourage him."--The New York Times Book Review THERE'S NO PLACE LIKE HOME--EXCEPT IN A SELLER'S MARKET At long last, Dave Barry, the dean of everything, lets you in on the deepest, darkest mysteries of life and answers your hysterical home purchase questions like they've never been answered before: What's the best way to determine a realistic price range? Take  Read more...
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Genre/Form: Electronic books
Humor
Material Type: Document, Internet resource
Document Type: Internet Resource, Computer File
All Authors / Contributors: Dave Barry
ISBN: 9780307758828 0307758826
OCLC Number: 682948439
Description: 1 online resource (97 pages) : illustrations
Other Titles: Homes and other black holes
Responsibility: Dave Barry ; illustrated by Jeff MacNelly.

Abstract:

"Mr. Barry is the funniest man in America and we should encourage him."--The New York Times Book Review THERE'S NO PLACE LIKE HOME--EXCEPT IN A SELLER'S MARKET At long last, Dave Barry, the dean of everything, lets you in on the deepest, darkest mysteries of life and answers your hysterical home purchase questions like they've never been answered before: What's the best way to determine a realistic price range? Take your total family income, including coins that have fallen behind the bureau, and any projected future revenue you have been notified about via personalized letters from Mr. Ed McMahon stating that you may already have won 14 million dollars. Then, multiply by something other than six. Can you recommend a good mortgage? There are several kinds: Fixed Rate, Variable Rate, and the bank's secret weapons, the Party Hat Mortgage and the Mortgage of the Living Dead. How can I avoid spending money on do-it-yourself homeowner's projects? Find a contractor. Their silent motto is "We Never Show Up." The Romans lived among the ruins. You must too. Is there a secret to having a beautiful lawn? Yes and no. If you fail to feed, fertilize, and water your lawn, it will die. However, if you feed, fertilize, and water your lawn, it will die. From the Paperback edition.

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