One man's attempt to coach a peewee soccer team. When author Black was growing up in Glasgow, soccer was the be-all and end-all. His experience was not the little league, boys-of-summer stuff of modern America. For him, it was life and death. Now middle-aged and living in California, Alan finds himself coaching a team of eight-year-olds in his beloved sport--and nothing is going right. For a start, the kids are no good at soccer. Second, they're pampered. Black's coaching methods are a far cry from the "winning isn't everything" mentality his little leaguers have been reared with; and players and parents alike are shocked as Black attempts to transform the losing team through drills and bombast. Told with Black's uproarious Scottish sensibility, this book follows the abrasive, irreverent coach as he contends with a team that winds up with a zero-win record.--From publisher description.