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|Named Person:||Jenny Lawson; Jenny Lawson|
|All Authors / Contributors:||
|ISBN:||0399159010 9780399159015 9780425261019 0425261018|
|Description:||318 p. : ill. ; 24 cm.|
|Contents:||I was a three-year-old arsonist --
My childhood: David Copperfield meets Guns & Ammo magazine --
Stanley, the magic talking squirrel --
Don't tell your parents --
Jenkins, you motherfucker --
If you need an arm condom, it might be time to reevaluate some of your life choices --
Draw me a fucking dog --
And that's why Neil Patrick Harris would be the most successful mass murderer ever --
No one ever taught me couch etiquette --
Just your average engagement story --
It wasn't stew --
Married on the Fourth of July --
There's no place like home --
A series of helpful post-it notes I left around the house for my husband this week --
The dark and disturbing secrets HR doesn't want you to know --
If you see my liver, you've gone too far --
My vagina is fine, thanks for asking --
Phone conversation I had with my husband after I got lost for the eighty thousandth time --
And then I got stabbed in the face by a serial killer --
Thanks for the zombies, Jesus --
Making friends with girls --
I am the Wizard of Oz of housewives (in taht I am both "great and terrible" and because I sometimes hide behind the curtains) --
The psychopath on the other side of the bathroom door --
An open letter to my husband, who is asleep in the next room --
Just to clarify : we don't sleep with goats --
Stabbed by chicken --
It wasn't even my crack --
Honestly, I don't even know where I got that machete : a comic tragedy in three parts days --
I'm going to need an old priest and a young priest --
And that's why you should learn to pick your battles --
Hairless rats : free for kids only --
And then I snuck a dead Cuban alligator on an airplane --
You can't go home again (unless you want to get mauled by wild dogs).
|Other Titles:||Let us pretend this never happened|
- Lawson, Jenny, -- 1979-
- Journalists -- United States -- Biography.
- Humorists, American -- 21st century -- Biography.
- Mental Disorders -- Autobiography.
- Abortion, Spontaneous -- Personal Narratives.
- Journalism -- United States -- Autobiography.
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