Life without jealousy : a practical guide

Your mom may have been right when she told you there were no monsters under your bed, but that doesn’t mean they can’t be lurking inside your own head.  If you find that you are frequently visited by a certain “green-eyed monster,”  then it’s worth your time to take a look at Lynda Bevan’s book.  You’ll be exposed to the information necessary to slay your jealous beast once and for all.

It didn’t take me long to realize how often I was getting attacked by the “green-eyed monster.”  I finally got to the point where I had to ask myself if I was going to let this unpleasant thing run my life.  Thankfully, I ran across Lynda Bevan’s book Life Without Jealousy.  Don’t be fooled by how thin it is; these pages are full of helpful information to ward off constant fits of jealousy.   Bevan eases the reader into the issue of jealousy by explaining exactly what the emotion is.  She delves into the differences between jealousy and envy and provides examples that will really hit home. 

What I enjoyed best about this book was its simplicity.  It’s laid out in a clear, concise way.  The language is not over-the-top with ridiculous vocabulary only six percent of the population uses, unlike many self-help books out there.  Bevan gets straight to the heart of the matter and provides a definition of jealousy, its causes, and useful ways to combat it.  The exercises are also simple.  So simple, in fact, that you’ll be amazed you never thought of them yourself.  However, when done repeatedly as advised by Bevan, I was really able to notice a difference in the frequency of my battles with jealousy. 

As with most things, it takes a lot of repetition to make a lasting change, so don’t expect Bevan’s advice to work the first day.  Confronting your jealousy issues will take some time and there is no quick fix.  Bevan gives you all the tools and information you need to ultimately defeat all those nagging self-doubts that evolve into jealous rage.  It’s my personal opinion that anyone who has jealousy and/or self-esteem issues will greatly benefit from this book.

Reviewed by Paige Lovitt for Reader Views (3/09)

“LifeWithout Jealousy” is the fourth book in the 10-Step Empowerment series. It is a practical guide to help you to overcome jealousy. The first step in dealing with jealousy is learning to understand what it is and common reasons of why it occurs. For myself, I discovered that I most often encounter this negative emotion when I am feeling insecure because I feel my relationship is being threatened. Being aware of this will really help me recognize the signs earlier on, which in turn will help me deal with the emotion before I start back into my old negative patterns. Upon reflection, I realized that I would have benefited from ending relationships much sooner where my emotional needs were not being met.

I found the discussion on the difference between jealousy and envy to be very enlightening. I decided that I would no longer tell people that “I am jealous or envious” of something that they have, even if I mean it in a joking way. It really puts some negative emotions out there. I want to try to completely remove myself from these mindsets.

The third step in the program discusses over ten types of jealousy. For myself, I have always been most affected regarding relationship jealousy. It is wonderful that more types are discussed. This will allow everyone who is experiencing some form of jealousy to benefit from what they read in these pages. Also of great benefit are the introspective questions that are in each chapter. As I read the material, I gained a greater understanding of the subject, and then by contemplating the questions, I was able to see how the information applied to me. Beneficial, realistic  suggestions are
also offered. At the end of the book is an appendix with emergency contacts and a bibliography which readers can refer to for more information.

I truly feel that every individual who is dealing with issues of some form of jealousy will greatly benefit from reading “Life Without Jealousy” by Lynda Bevan. This includes people who are not jealous themselves but are being affected by others who are. Learning to understand it, overcome it, and gain effective new ways to communicate will greatly improve the quality of our lives.