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Trapped in the mirror : adult children of narcissists in their struggle for self

Author: Elan Golomb
Publisher: New York : W. Morrow, ©1992.
Edition/Format:   Print book : English : 1st edView all editions and formats
Summary:
"There is a group of unrecognized victims whose number is very great. They often do not seek the help they need because they don't recognize they suffer from a problem for which there is a solution. These are the children of narcissistic parents." "All healthy people regard themselves as special beings capable of achievement and worthy of love. They stay in touch with their feelings and try to do their personal
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Additional Physical Format: Online version:
Golomb, Elan.
Trapped in the mirror.
New York : W. Morrow, ©1992
(OCoLC)622862553
Document Type: Book
All Authors / Contributors: Elan Golomb
ISBN: 0688094716 9780688094713 0688140718 9780688140717
OCLC Number: 23143624
Notes: Includes index.
Description: 271 pages ; 25 cm
Contents: How to recognize a narcissist and narcissism --
Who is the adult child of a narcissist? --
They make you conform to their will, even in your thinking --
Anne and the invisible force --
Suicidal urges : John --
Attraction to narcissistic mates by children of narcissists : Delores --
No right to live if you cannot love : how a narcissist put his inability to love onto his child --
The destructive inner parent : Victoria --
A life devoid of motivation : Nick --
The child of a narcissist who becomes a narcissist : Alan --
Addictive behavior in children of narcissists : Marie, fat is dead--obesity as a protective device --
Raising a child to fulfill the narcissistic parent's heroic image : Mark, unable to respond to his child's dependency needs, requires the child to be heroic --
Changing from weakness into strength : how to develop a real sense of self --
How to find and heal your self --
What do we call love? Where and how do we seek it? --
People in stages of self-development --
Learning to relate to the narcissistic parent : the way it is and how it can be improved --
Sending home the negative introject.
Responsibility: Elan Golomb.

Abstract:

"There is a group of unrecognized victims whose number is very great. They often do not seek the help they need because they don't recognize they suffer from a problem for which there is a solution. These are the children of narcissistic parents." "All healthy people regard themselves as special beings capable of achievement and worthy of love. They stay in touch with their feelings and try to do their personal best. Their standards are internal and realistic since they have a good idea of who they are and what they can accomplish (such objectivity is not insignificant)." "Narcissists are wholly different. They unconsciously deny an unstated and intolerably poor self-image through inflation. They turn themselves into glittering figures of immense grandeur surrounded by psychologically impenetrable walls. The goal of this self-deception is to be impervious to greatly feared criticism and to their own roiling sea of doubts." "Because the narcissist's life is organized to deny negative feelings and to maintain an illusion of superiority, the narcissist's family is forcibly conscripted into supporting roles. They have no other option if they wish to get along. The narcissist's spouse must be admiring and submissive to keep the marriage going, and the children will automatically mold themselves to any image that is projected upon them."

"Trapped in the Mirror is the first book to explore the private struggle of adults who were raised by narcissistic parents. Dr. Elan Golomb, herself the child of a narcissist, reveals the unique ordeal faced by these adult children. Their stories tell of their efforts to free themselves from the web of their parents' distortions. They often feel hopeless and paralyzed. Sometimes they break through to a sense of their true selves, and then they know freedom and joy. The journey is a rough one for all who undertake it. It is also the only trip worth taking. You who recognize your story on these pages can take hope from the experience of others. Dr. Golomb shows that it is possible to undo the illusions under which we were raised. We can work to rid ourselves of falsely imposed images in order to find our true identities. Book jacket."--Jacket.

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