gt;gt;As Consciousness Is Harnessed to Fleshgt;gt;gt;gt;gt;gt;1964gt;gt;gt;gt;5/5/46gt;gt;The right hand = the hand that is aggressive, the hand that masturbates. Therefore, to prefer the left hand! ... To romanticize it, to sentimentalize it!gt;gt; gt;gt;gt; gt;gt;gt;I am Irene's [gt;the Cuban-American playwright María Irene Fornés--SS's lover for a time in Paris in 1957 and then her partner in New York between 1959 and 1963gt;] Maginot Line.gt;gt; gt;gt;gt;Her very "life" depends on rejecting me, on holding the line against me.gt;gt; gt;gt;gt;Everything has been deposited on me. I am the scapegoat.gt;gt; gt;gt;gt;[gt;This entry is emphasized by a vertical line in the margin:gt;] As long as she is occupied in warding me off, she doesn't have to face herself, her own problems.gt;gt; gt;gt;gt;I can't convince her--persuade her--with reason--that it is otherwise.gt;gt; gt;gt;gt;Any more than she could convince me--when we lived together--not to need her, clutch at her, depend on her.gt;gt; gt;gt;gt; gt;gt;gt;There is nothing in it for me now--no joy, only sorrow. Why do I hang on?gt;gt; gt;gt;gt;Because I don't understand. I don't gt;reallygt; accept the change in Irene. I think I can reverse it--by explaining, by demonstrating that I am good for her.gt;gt; gt;gt;gt;But it is as indispensable for her to reject me--as it has been indispensable for me to hold on to her.gt;gt; gt;gt;gt; gt;gt;gt;"Whatever doesn't kill me, makes me stronger." [gt;a paraphrase of Goethegt;]gt;gt; gt;gt;gt;There is no love, no charity, no kindness for me in Irene. For me, to me, she becomes cruel and shallow.gt;gt; gt;gt;gt;The symbiotic tie is broken. She cast it aside.gt;gt; gt;gt;gt;Now she only presents "bills." Inez, Joan, Carlos!gt;gt; gt;gt;gt;I have damaged her ego, she says. I and Alfred [gt;the American writer Alfred Chestergt;].gt;gt; gt;gt;gt;(The inflated, fragile ego.)gt;gt;And no repentance, no apology for, no change from what was truly damaging in my behavior will appease her, or heal her.gt;gt;Remember how she received the "revelation" at the New Yorker [gt;a Manhattan movie theater that showed foreign and revival films, where SS went several times a week in the 1960sgt;] two weeks ago!gt;gt; gt;gt;gt;"I am a stone wall," she says. "A rock." It's true.gt;gt; gt;gt;gt;There is no responsiveness, no forgiveness in her. To me, only hardness. Deafness. Silence. Even a grunt of assent "violates" her.gt;gt; gt;gt;gt;Rejecting me is the shell Irene constructs around herself. The protective "wall."gt;gt; gt;gt;gt; gt;gt;gt;--Why I didn't nurse David:gt;gt; gt;gt;gt;Mother didn't nurse me. (I vindicate her by doing it to David--it's ok, I do it to my own child)gt;gt; gt;gt;gt;I had a difficult birth, caused M[other] a lot of pain; she didn't nurse me; she stayed in bed for a month after.gt;gt; gt;gt;gt;David was big (like me)--a lot of pain. I wanted to be knocked out, not to know anything; gt;it never occurred to megt; to nurse him; I stayed in bed for a month after.gt;gt; gt;gt;gt; gt;gt;gt;Loving = the sensation of being in an intense form Like pure oxygen (as distinct from air)gt;gt; gt;gt;gt; gt;gt;gt;Henry James--gt;gt;All based on a particular stylization of consciousnessgt;gt;Self & world (money)--no body consciousness, among many ways of being-in-the-world which he omits.gt;gt; gt;gt;gt; gt;gt;gt;Edith Wharton's biography. Banal sensibility capped, periodically, by strong intelligent conclusion. But her intelligence doesn't transform the events--i.e. disclose their complexity. It only supervenes upon the banal telling of them.gt;gt; gt;gt;gt; gt;gt;gt;...gt;gt;gt;gt;8/5/64gt;gt;Ontological anxiety, "Weltangst." The world blank--or crumbling, shredding. People are wind-up dolls. I'm afraid.gt;gt; gt;gt;gt;"The gift" has meant to me: I wouldn't buy this for myself (it's nice, a luxury, not necessary) but I buy it for you. Denial of self.gt;gt; gt;gt;gt;There are people in the world.gt;gt; gt;gt;gt;A constriction in the chest, tears, a scream that feels as if it would be endless if I let it out.gt;gt; gt;gt;gt;I should go away for a year.gt;gt;gt;gt;8/6/64gt;gt;gt;To saygt; a feeling, an impression is to diminish it--expel it.gt;gt; gt;gt;gt;But sometimes feelings are too strong: passions, obsessions. Like romantic love. Or grief. Then one needs to speak, or one would burst.gt;gt; gt;gt;gt; gt;gt;gt;The desire for reassurance. And, equally, to be reassured. (The itch to ask whether I'm still loved; and the itch to say, I love you, half-fearing that the other has forgotten, since the last time I said it.)gt;gt;"Quelle connerie" [gt;"What idiocy"gt;]gt;gt; gt;gt;gt; gt;gt;gt;I valued professional competence + force, think (since age four?) that that was, at least, more attainable than being lovable "just as a person."gt;gt; gt;gt;gt; gt;gt;gt;I can't drive out my obsession with I[rene]--my grief, my despair, my longing--with another love. I'm not capable of loving anyone now. I'm being "loyal."gt;gt; gt;gt;gt;But the obsession must be drained, somehow. I must force some of that energy elsewhere.gt;gt; gt;gt;gt;If I could get started on another novel ...gt;gt; gt;gt;gt; gt;gt;gt;From Mother, I learned: "I love you" means "I don't love anyone else." The horrid woman was always challenging my feelings, telling me I had made her unhappy, that I was "cold."gt;gt; gt;gt;gt;As if children owe their parents love + gratification! They don't. Though parents owe these things to their children--exactly like physical care.gt;gt; gt;gt;gt; gt;gt;gt;From Mother: "I love you. Look. I'm unhappy."gt;gt; gt;gt;gt;She made me feel: Happiness is disloyalty.gt;gt; gt;gt;gt;She hid her happiness, challenged me to make her happy--if I could.gt;gt; gt;gt;gt;Therapy is deconditioning [gt;SS's therapist at the time, Dianagt;] (Kemeny)gt;gt; gt;gt;gt; gt;gt;gt;Mary McCarthy's grin--grey hair--low-fashion red + blueprint suit. Club woman gossip. She gt;isgt; [gt;her novelgt;] gt;The Groupgt;. She's nice to her husband.gt;gt; gt;gt;gt; gt;gt;gt;Fear of the other going away: fear of abandonmentgt;gt;Fear of gt;mygt; going away: fear of retaliation by the other (gt;alsogt; abandonment--but as revenge for the rejection of going away).gt;gt;gt;gt;8/8/64gt;gt;I have a wider range as a human being than as a writer. (With some writers, it's the opposite.) Only a fraction of me is available to be turned into art.gt;gt; gt;gt;gt; gt;gt;gt;A miracle is just an accident, with fancy trappings.gt;gt; gt;gt;gt;Change--life--comes through accidents.gt;gt; gt;gt;gt; gt;gt;gt;My loyalty to the past--my most dangerous trait, the one that has cost me most.gt;gt; gt;gt;gt; gt;gt;gt;gt;Self-respectgt;. It would make me lovable. And it's the secret of good sex.gt;gt; gt;gt;gt; gt;gt;gt;The best things in SW [gt;the philosopher Simone Weilgt;] are about attention. Against both the will + the categorical imperative.gt;gt; gt;gt;gt; gt;gt;gt;One can never ask anyone to change a feeling.gt;gt; gt;gt;gt; gt;gt;gt;gt;gt;8/18/64 Londongt;gt;"Variety of Uniformities makes compleat Beauty."--Sir Christopher Wrengt;gt; gt;gt;gt;Buster Keaton: Candide with a frontal lobotomygt;gt; gt;gt;gt;[gt;Description of the American novelist James Jones:gt;] Shoulders coming out of his earsgt;gt; gt;gt;gt;Ectoplasm is (displaced) seminal fluid--19th c. mediums are aberrant symptom of the wakening of "modern" female sexualitygt;gt;cf. [Henry James's] gt;The Bostoniansgt;, Padmore bookgt;gt; gt;gt;gt;"The psychology and physiology of 'the instant'"gt;gt; gt;gt;gt;Mary McCarthy can do anything with her smile; she can even smile with it.gt;gt; gt;gt;gt; gt;gt;gt;A brain-damaged woman who--even after she'd mostly recovered--couldn't follow a movie.gt;gt; gt;gt;gt;The Beatles, their quaternity.gt;gt; gt;gt;gt;Damp mollusks of 12-year old girls.gt;gt;Dexamyls [gt;a form of amphetamine on which SS became dependent for writing in the mid-1960s and which she used until the early 1980s, though in diminishing dosesgt;] are called, in England, "Purple Hearts" (they're purple, not green [gt;as in the U.Sgt;.]--kids take them 20 at a time, with Coke ... Then (lunch hour) pop into a "cave" (nobody over 21 admitted) and [dance the] Watusigt;gt; gt;gt;gt; gt;gt;gt;Hemingway wrote a parody of Sherwood Anderson's gt;Winesburg, Ohiogt;; it's his 2nd novel, gt;Torrents of Springgt; (1926), just before gt;The Sun Also Risesgt;.gt;gt; gt;gt;gt; gt;gt;gt;Arnold Geulincx (1624-69), the Belgian philospher--follower of Descartes--[Samuel] Beckett, as a student, read him--[Geulincx] holds that a reasonable man is nowhere free, except in his own mind--doesn't waste energy trying to control his body in the external world.gt;gt; gt;gt;gt; gt;gt;gt;Adjectives:gt;gt;...gt;gt;gt;gt;8/19/64gt;gt;Story: "The infinite system of Couples"gt;gt;...gt;gt; gt;gt;gt; gt;gt;gt;Cockney slang: rhyming plus knight's move to the sidegt;gt;Breasts = Bristol (city > titty)gt;gt;Teeth = Hampteads (heath > teeth)gt;gt; gt;gt;gt;Verbs:gt;gt;...gt;gt; gt;gt;gt; gt;gt;gt;Horrifying to feel one's integument (skin) piercedgt;gt; gt;gt;gt;Annealed ...gt;gt; gt;gt;gt; gt;gt;gt;[gt;the American writer William S.gt;] Burroughs:gt;gt;Language = controlgt;gt;"Terrorist" attacks on language (cut-up method)gt;gt;cf. [gt;The French experimental writer Raymondgt;] Roussel--gt;Comment J'ai Écritgt; ...gt;gt; gt;gt;gt;Escape into space (sci-fi) vs. Historygt;gt; gt;gt;gt;[gt;Thegt;] gt;Soft Machinegt; gt;Nova Expressgt; gt;Naked Lunchgt; gt;Dead Fingers Talkgt;gt;gt; gt;gt;gt; gt;gt;gt;"Bumtrinkets"--bits of feces stuck to hairs of anus (cf. Cicely Bumtrinket in [gt;the seventeenth-century dramatist Thomasgt;] Dekker's gt;Shoemaker's Holidaygt;)gt;gt;Ditto for "dingleberries"gt;gt; gt;gt;gt; gt;gt;gt;Nouns:gt;gt;...gt;gt; gt;gt;gt; gt;gt;gt;"Une incertitude de jeunesse" ["gt;youthful uncertaintygt;"] (of [gt;Bertolt Brecht's first playgt;] gt;Baalgt;)gt;gt; gt;gt;gt; gt;gt;gt;Sci-fi essaygt;gt;gt;gt;1.gt; Films better than the books--why?gt;gt;gt;2.gt; Contentgt;gt;gt;Figure of the scientist as Satanist ([Goethe's] gt;Faustgt;, Poe, [Nathaniel] Hawthorne)gt;gt;gt;• treatment of the scientist as one who releases forces which if not controlled for good could destroy man himselfgt;gt;• cf. old vision of scientist (Prospero, etc.) as a dotty magician only partly in control of the forces in which he dabbles.gt;gt;gt;Sci-fi as modern allegory:gt;gt;Modern attitude toward madness (being "taken over")gt;gt;Modern attitude toward death (incineration, extinction)gt;gt; gt;gt;gt; gt;gt;gt;Rich fund of metaphors (Jonathan [gt;Miller, British writer and directorgt;]) from:gt;gt;gt;gt;1.gt; Computersgt;gt;gt;2.gt; Hydraulicsgt;gt;gt;3.gt; Photography; opticsgt;gt;gt;4.gt; Physiology of crustaceansgt;gt;gt;5.gt; Architecturegt;gt;gt;6.gt; Chess + military strategygt;gt;gt;[gt;Examples of Miller's use of these metaphors:gt;]gt;gt;"Like the kick-start on a motor-bike--now I'm going on my own."gt;gt;"Yards of prose."gt;gt;"Final suicidal Pickett's charge against ..."gt;gt;"Chromium-plated with charm."gt;gt; gt;gt;gt; gt;gt;gt;Jonathan: the intersection between psychiatry and aestheticsgt;gt; gt;gt;gt;...gt;gt; gt;gt;gt; gt;gt;gt;British popsgt;gt;gt;Lonnie Donegan Chris Barber ...gt;gt;Cliff Richard + his Shadows Cilla [Black] Helen Shapiro ...gt;Merseygt; [gt;Beatgt;]: Beatles Dave Clark 5 The Rolling Stones The Beasts The Pretty Things The Birds ... Dusty Springfieldgt;gt;gt; gt;gt;gt; gt;gt;gt;...gt;gt; gt;gt;gt;Sequence of a migraine:gt;gt; gt;gt;gt;Loss of perspective (flattening out) > "fortification phenomena" (white lines--zooming in from side; one-sided) > nausea and vomiting > acute hemicraniagt;gt;(holding site is always part of acute pain)gt;gt; gt;gt;gt; gt;gt;gt;SMELL is the largest sensory area in the brain and also the most primitivegt;gt;Very powerful but not articulated--can't do anything with it (just gt;naminggt;)gt;gt;All accent, no syntaxgt;gt;Smelling gives one a knowledge of sensation rinsed clean of thought (unlike hearing and seeing)gt;gt; gt;gt;gt;Osmology, as opposed to logologygt;gt; gt;gt;gt; gt;gt;gt;[gt;The French writer Nathaliegt;] Sarraute--gt;gt; gt;gt;gt;gt;Tropismesgt; (first book)--something like "prose poems"--Sarraute calls them that.gt;gt;First one written in 1932.gt;gt;Volume was published in 1939 (Denoël), republished by Éditions de Minuit in 1957, with 6 more written between 1939 + 1941gt;gt; gt;gt;gt;gt;Thisgt; is her form!--her texture is anti-novelistic, though she's decided to write "novels" + launched an important critique of the novel on the basis of her method.gt;gt; gt;gt;gt; gt;gt;gt;Sperlonga--beach near Romegt;gt; gt;gt;gt; gt;gt;gt;...gt;gt; gt;gt;gt;In old age, the cereberal arteries silt up--gradual diminution of blood supply to the braingt;gt;gt;gt;8/20/64gt;gt;...gt;gt; gt;gt;gt;Influence of photography on painting:gt;gt;gt;gt;1.gt; Off-centering: main subject is in a corner ([gt;the Italian director Michelangelogt;] Antonioni, [gt;the Swiss-American photographergt;] Robert Frank).gt;gt;gt;2.gt; Figures in motion: [gt;the nineteenth-century English photographer Eadweardgt;] Muybridge. Previously, all figures are either at rest (in repose) or at the end of a motion (e.g. farthest the limb can be extended)gt;gt;gt;Compare dancing figures in Breughel with Degas's gt;Horses at Longchampsgt;gt;gt;gt;3. Understanding of focus: eye can't see focusing, since it does so automatically, it's a function of attention.gt;gt;gt;All painting prior to photography is in even focus. As the painter's eye traveled from plane to plane, each went into focus.gt;gt; gt;gt;gt; gt;gt;gt;Quality of film [stock] is important--whether grainy or not; old stock or new ([Stanley] Kubrick used WWII unused newsreel stock for War Room sequences in gt;Dr. Strangelovegt;)gt;gt; gt;gt;gt; gt;gt;gt;Mont Blanc fountain pen (Fr.)gt;gt;Italic script (get book on)gt;gt;Read Poe on "Magnetism," and "The Imp of the Perverse."gt;gt; gt;gt;gt; gt;gt;gt;[gt;This is highlighted:gt;] Off-centering big technique in modern fiction and poetrygt;gt; gt;gt;gt; gt;gt;gt;Words have their own firmness. The word on the page may not reveal (may conceal) the flabbiness of the mind that conceived it. > All thoughts are upgrades--get more clarity, definition, authority, by being in print--that is, detached from the person who thinks them.gt;gt; gt;gt;gt;A potential fraud--at least potential--in all writing.gt;gt; gt;gt;gt;How revealing to meet [Richard] Eberhart, [Paul] Tillich, Dwight Macdonald, Mary McCarthy!gt;gt; gt;gt;gt;Jonathan [Miller]: "I take Trilling's ideas less seriously since I know him."gt;gt; gt;gt;gt; gt;gt;gt;gt;Sensibilitygt; is humus for the intellect.gt;gt;There's no syntax for sensibility--hence, it's ignored.gt;gt; gt;gt;gt; gt;gt;gt;Reading criticism clogs conduits through which one gets new ideas: cultural cholesterol.gt;gt; gt;gt;gt;One's ignorance is a treasure, not to be casually spent ([Paul] Valéry)gt;gt; gt;gt;gt; gt;gt;gt;Body type [gt;SS is describing herselfgt;]:gt;gt;gt;• Tallgt;gt;• Low blood pressuregt;gt;• Need lots of sleepgt;gt;• Sudden craving for pure sugar (but dislike desserts--not a high enough concentration)gt;gt;• Intolerance for liquorgt;gt;• Heavy smokinggt;gt;• Tendency to anemiagt;gt;• Heavy protein cravinggt;gt;• Asthmagt;gt;• Migrainesgt;gt;• Very good stomach--no heartburn, constipation, etc.gt;gt;• Negligible menstrual crampsgt;gt;• Easily tired by standinggt;gt;• Like heightsgt;gt;• Enjoy seeing deformed people (voyeuristic)gt;gt;• Nailbitinggt;gt;• Teeth grindinggt;gt;• Nearsighted, astigmatismgt;gt;• Frileuse (very sensitive to cold, like hot summers)gt;gt;• Not very sensitive to noise (high degree of selective auditory focus)gt;gt;gt;Pills one takes for reducing hypertension are depressants Alcohol is a depressantgt;gt;gt;gt;8/22/64 Parisgt;gt;The incredible pain returns again and again and again.gt;gt;gt;gt;8/23/64gt;gt;Finished the story. "An American Destiny," for the moment. I see now that it's mined from the vein that produced [gt;SS's firstnovelgt;] gt;The Benefactorgt;--it's a sort of miniaturized Frau Anders story, more drastically comic.gt;gt;[gt;In the margin:gt;] My pop art storygt;gt; gt;gt;gt;Gainsgt;gt;gt;• Third person rather than firstgt;gt;• Fantasy America, rather than fantasy France (because I'm in Paris?!)gt;gt;• Use of slang,--active verbsgt;gt;gt;gt;gt;8/24/64gt;gt;Great art has a beautiful monotony--Stendhal, Bach. (But not Shakespeare.)gt;gt; gt;gt;gt;A sense of the inevitability of a style--the sense that the artist had no alternatives, so wholly centered is he gt;ingt; his style.gt;gt; gt;gt;gt;Compare [Gustave] Flaubert and [James] Joyce ("voulu," constructed, intricate) with [Choderlos de] Laclos and [Raymond] Radiguet.gt;gt; gt;gt;gt;The greatest art seems secreted, not constructed.gt;gt; gt;gt;gt; gt;gt;gt;Camp: irony, distance; ambivalence (?)gt;gt; gt;gt;gt;Pop art: only possible in an affluent society, where one can be free to enjoy ironic consumption. Thus there gt;isgt; Pop art in England--but not in Spain, where consumption is still too serious. (In Spain, painting is either abstract or social protest realism.)gt;gt; gt;gt;gt; gt;gt;gt;Armature--in sculpturegt;gt; gt;gt;gt; gt;gt;gt;[gt;Josef von Sternberg's 1930 Hollywood film starring Marlene Dietrich and Gary Coopergt;] gt;Moroccogt;:gt;gt; gt;gt;gt;Dietrich: clean, solid--movements never weak or floating or petty--sparsegt;gt;Von S: profusegt;gt; gt;gt;gt;[gt;In the margin:gt;] They highlight each other by their differencesgt;gt; gt;gt;gt; gt;gt;gt;"Fagotage" (m.)--botch; ridiculous way of dressing >gt;gt;"Fagoter" (verb)--to dress (a person) ridiculously > Is this where "faggot" comes from?gt;gt; gt;gt;gt; gt;gt;gt;Movies seen since Aug. 11:gt;gt;gt;The Crowdgt; (King Vidor)--Cinemathèque gt;Bande à Partgt; ([Jean-Luc] Godard)--Gaumont Rive Gauche gt;Une Femme est une Femmegt; (Godard)--Cinemathèque gt;La Grande Muraillegt; (Jap[anese]?)--Normandie gt;Maciste Contre Le Cyclopegt; (It[alian]?)--Ciné Gobelinsgt;gt; gt;gt;gt; gt;gt;gt;[gt;The French director Georgesgt;] Franju's first feature, gt;The Keepersgt; [gt;La Tête contre les mursgt;], about insane asylum--horrible, stupid, vicious directorgt;gt;([gt;parallelgt;] to gt;Les Yeux sans visagegt; [gt;Franju's next filmgt;]gt;gt; gt;gt;gt;Gothic horror in filmsgt;gt;gt;The institutiongt;--cf. [gt;Robert Wiene's 1920 Weimar filmgt; The Cabinet of Dr.] gt;Caligarigt;, etc.gt;gt;gt;gt;8/28/64gt;gt;"The Primary and most beautiful of Nature's qualities is motion, which agitates her at all times, but this motion is simply the perpetual consequence of crimes, it is conserved by means of crimes alone."gt;gt;--[Marquis] de Sadegt;gt; gt;gt;gt;Humanism = moralizing the world, thereby refusing to acknowledge the "crimes" of which de Sade speaks.gt;gt; gt;gt;gt; gt;gt;gt;What one is gt;isgt; the idea one has of oneself. If one thinks one is loveable, one is; beautiful, talented, etc.gt;gt;gt;gt;8/29/64gt;gt;[gt;The American sociologist Philip Rieff, to whom SS was married between 1950 and 1959gt;] P. [hilip Rieff]--gt;gt; gt;gt;gt;Everyone else not real--very distant, small figures. I would have to swim a thousand miles to reach the margin of the relationship,on the other side of which might lie other people, and it was too far, I was too tired.gt;gt; gt;gt;gt;The almost infinitely extending network of that relationship; its dense weave That's what held me--gt;gt; gt;gt;gt;Not (at least nowhere as strongly as I. [Irene Fornés])gt;gt;The sense of P.'s uniqueness, value, preciousness--gt;gt; gt;gt;gt;H. [gt;Harriet Sohmers Zwerling, who was SS's lover when she was a student at the University of California, Berkeley, and then the lover of both Irene Fornés and SS in Paris in 1956 and 1957gt;]--very sloppy, loosely woven relationship--hence possibility of friendship, much later.gt;gt; gt;gt;gt; gt;gt;gt;If one knew one would live 200 years, would one be as tired at 35?gt;gt; gt;gt;gt;Is the being tired a spontaneous complicity with death--a beginning to let go at what one judges to be about the right time, half way?gt;gt;Or is it objectively so, that one would anyway be tired at 35 and spend the next 165 years "se traînant?" [gt;"moping around"gt;]gt;gt; gt;gt;gt; gt;gt;gt;If one could amputate part of one's consciousness ...gt;gt; gt;gt;gt;What appeared to Annette [gt;the American film scholar Annette Michelson, whom SS met in Paris in 1957gt;] as narcissism sixyears ago: I was still so unawakened, so out of focus. So dead, or, rather, unborn.gt;gt; gt;gt;gt; gt;gt;gt;I will never just outlast this pain. (Healing passage of time, etc.) I am frozen, paralyzed, the gears are jammed. It will only recede, diminish if I can somehow transpose the emotion--as from grief to anger, from despair to assent. I must become active. As long as I continue to experience myself as done to (not doing) this unbearable pain will not desert me--gt;gt; gt;gt;gt; gt;gt;gt;Persistent motive in my writing:gt;gt;X speaks, asks, demands--but if doesn't answer, turns away. X tries to make the best of it.gt;gt; gt;gt;gt;[gt;A note, undated, is inserted:gt;] I will be alright by 7:00 am gt;this morninggt;gt;gt; gt;gt;gt; gt;gt;gt;M. [Mother] didn't answer when I was a child. The worst punishment--and the ultimate frustration. She was always "off"--even when she wasn't angry. (The drinking a symptom of this.) But I kept trying.gt;gt; gt;gt;gt;Now, the same with I[rene]. Even more agonizing because for four years she gt;didgt; answer. So I know she can.gt;gt;Those four years! That huge length of time--its weight, its almost palpable thickness--obsesses me. "How can she ..." etc.gt;gt; gt;gt;gt;I'm so stuck on the "was" of people--gt;gt; gt;gt;gt;...gt;gt;gt;gt;8/30/64gt;gt;Yves--gt;gt;Fragilegt;gt;Hypochondriac, thin, needs 10 hours of sleep a night--lives on pillsgt;gt; gt;gt;gt;From provinces--Nantes, Poitiersgt;gt;Petit bourgeoisgt;gt;Father--had a small clothing factory, makes uniforms for the armygt;gt;Mother--an antique dealergt;gt; gt;gt;gt;Red hair, white skin, regular featuresgt;gt; gt;gt;gt;Works for army on rockets--big center in banlieuegt;gt; gt;gt;gt;"Je sais que je vais vieillir trop tôt et ..." [gt;"I know that I will grow old too early, and ..."gt;]gt;gt; gt;gt;gt;Paranoid--gt;gt;Stole money from bank (father's friend) + from queer art gallery dealer (Annette's friend)gt;gt;"Denise"--calls her Régine--she's 20, works this summer in Paris for an airline.gt;gt;First time he was with Annette: "If only someone could see me now." For the last three years.--Annette: "Elle n'est pas ma reine à moi" [gt;"She's not my very own queen"gt;]gt;gt; gt;gt;gt; gt;gt;gt;From parataxis (loose association of clauses) to hypotaxis (more precise indications of logical relationships + subordination)gt;gt; gt;gt;gt; gt;gt;gt;...gt;gt; gt;gt;gt;Play: Doctor World is a bodygt;gt; gt;gt;gt; gt;gt;gt;Writing is a little door. Some fantasies, like big pieces of furniture, won't come through.gt;gt; gt;gt;gt; gt;gt;gt;In ancient religion all significant behavior was acc[ording] to a divine prototype.gt;gt; gt;gt;gt;Man > arena of forces, battlegroundgt;gt;Gods = names of important thingsgt;gt;gt;gt;a.gt; Homer on volition (cf. Snell [gt;the German classicist Bruno Snell, author ofgt; The Discovery of Mind in Greek Philosophy and Literature]gt;gt;gt;b.gt; Tragedygt;A gt;causalgt; analysisgt;gt;A god wills > humans actgt;gt;gt;gt;No conception of rolesgt;gt; gt;gt;gt;Modern idea of individuality < > role-playing (i.e. self-consciousness)gt;gt; gt;gt;gt;Compare gt;Hamletgt; and gt;Oedipusgt;gt;gt;gt;gt;9/3/64gt;gt;How beautiful [gt;von Sternberg's 1935 filmgt;] gt;The Devil Is a Womangt; is! It's one of the most gt;extremegt; films I've ever seen. Dietrich is completely object--almost lacquered, embalmed. Research into the absoluteness of décor: style obliterating personality ... Dietrich is "mounted" inside her costumes, her huge hats--behind the confetti, the streamers, the doves, the grilles, the rain ... Décor is "surcharge," both beautiful and parodic--gt;gt; gt;gt;gt;Compare with [gt;the Italian director Luchinogt;] Visconti (gt;Sensogt;, gt;The Leopardgt;) +, of course, gt;Flaming Creaturesgt; [gt;made in 1963 by the American experimental filmmaker Jack Smith. SS had written an essay on the film, which would appear in her first collection of essaysgt;, Against Interpretation gt;(1966).gt;]gt;gt; gt;gt;gt; gt;gt;gt;[John] Donne's "Sermon Preached at White-Hall"--Feb. 29, 1627gt;gt; gt;gt;gt; gt;gt;gt;My faults:gt;gt;gt;• To censor others for my own vices*gt;gt;• To make my friendships into love affairsgt;gt;• To ask that love include (and exclude) allgt;gt;gt;*but, perhaps this becomes most hectic and obvious--reaches a climax, when the thing in myself is deteriorating, giving way, collapsing--like: my indignation at Susan [Taubes's] [gt;SS's close friend from Cambridge, Massachusetts, daysgt;] and Eva [Berliner Kollisch's] [gt;a friend of SS's and Taubes'sgt;] physical squeamishness.gt;gt; gt;gt;gt;N.B. My ostentatious appetite--real need--to eat exotic and "disgusting" foods = a need to state my denial of squeamishness. A counter-statement.gt;gt; gt;gt;gt;...gt;gt;gt;gt;9/8/64gt;gt;"I got away, but I had to leave my arms and legs behind ..."gt;gt; gt;gt;gt;Not to look back means cordoning off all sorts of things in the present which are too full of memories that can't be suppressed. To disinfect my life of------, of this nearly mortal grief, I find myself refraining from this, and this, and this. The greatest loss is sex. That, and so many other things, remind me of------.gt;gt;I can't afford to allow the present any depth or ballast, because that means (for me) the past, and the past means all that was shared with------.gt;gt; gt;gt;gt;I feel--when I'm not sorrowing--so dry, like powder, like a helium balloon that's been let go--gt;gt;I've forbidden myself to think, to feel, because thinking and feeling--gt;gt; gt;gt;gt;How can I go on this way?gt;gt;And how can I not?gt;gt; gt;gt;gt; gt;gt;gt;"Dearest------gt;gt;"I'm sorry not to have written. Life is tough, and its hard to talk while one is gritting one's teeth ..."gt;gt; gt;gt;gt; gt;gt;gt;Color in filmsgt;gt;[gt;Teinosuke Kinugasa's 1953 filmgt;] gt;Gate of Hellgt;gt;gt;gt;Sensogt;gt;gt;[gt;Alain Resnais's 1963 filmgt;] gt;Murielgt;gt;gt; gt;gt;gt;Two palettes: one based on skin color, one not (city, plastic, neon)gt;gt; gt;gt;gt;The orgasm--repeated overexposed sequence in [gt;Resnais's 1961 filmgt; Last Year at] gt;Marienbadgt;gt;gt; gt;gt;gt;Relation of parody + self-parody in campgt;gt; gt;gt;gt;[gt;The twentieth-century French artist Jean-Robertgt;] Ipous-téguy's sculpture--the heroic figure (large head, arms outstretched, pubic hair like a badge--penis rides free), in bronze, but cracked, fissured ...gt;gt; gt;gt;gt; gt;gt;gt;"I don't want to know about your past. I have a feeling it would weigh too much."gt;gt;"But we're not on a balance."gt;gt;"But we are."gt;gt; gt;gt;gt; gt;gt;gt;Marxism a position vis-à-vis culturegt;gt; gt;gt;gt;--[Theodor] Adorno, gt;Philosophy of New Musicgt;gt;gt;[Arnold] Schoenberg = progressgt;gt;[Igor] Stravinsky = fascism (whom A. identifies with just one period, the neo-classical)gt;gt;[gt;In the margin:gt;] NB parallels [between] Stravinsky + [Pablo] Picasso--raiding the past [in their] different styles--no commitment to progressgt;gt; gt;gt;gt;--[Georg] Lukácsgt;gt;[Thomas] Mann = realism = sense of history = Marxismgt;gt;[Franz] Kafka = allegory = dehistoricization = fascismgt;gt; gt;gt;gt;--[Walter] Benjamingt;gt;Cinema = abolition of tradition = fascismgt;gt; gt;gt;gt;(Use this as introduction to Lukács essay)gt;gt; gt;gt;gt; gt;gt;gt; gt;gt;gt;Read the two novels of [gt;the contemporary French novelist Jean-Marie Gustavegt;] Le Cléziogt;gt; gt;gt;gt;"J'ai besoin de beaucoup de tendresse." [gt;"I need a great deal of tenderness."gt;]gt;gt; gt;gt;gt;"Écrire veut dire aller jusqu'au bout. J'ai renoncé à ça dans ma vie, mais dans ce que j'écris, je dois prendre un risque." [gt;"To write means to go all the way. I've renounced this in life, but in what I write, I must take risks."gt;]gt;gt; gt;gt;gt;"C'est trop et c'est juste assez pour moi" (Jean Cocteau) [gt;"It's too much and it's just enough for me"gt;] Motto of gt;Cahiers du Cinémagt; American Cinema issue (Jan. 1963)gt;gt; gt;gt;gt;...gt;gt; gt;gt;gt;Lineage of gt;Le Bavardgt; [gt;by Louis-René des Forêtsgt;]: Poegt;gt;[Jorge Luis] Borges says: [G. K.] Chesterton, [Robert Louis] Stevenson, + early films of von Sternberggt;gt;gt;gt;9/10/64gt;gt;Do essays on:gt;gt;gt;• The first person narrative, the récitgt;gt;• Von Sternberggt;gt;• [Herman Melville's novel] gt;Pierregt;[gt;: or, The Ambiguitiesgt;]gt;gt;• Style + silence Gertrude Stein, etc.gt;gt;gt; gt;gt;gt; gt;gt;gt;All great art contains at its center contemplation, a dynamic contemplation.gt;gt; gt;gt;gt;Camp is one of the species of behaviorism in art--it is, so extremely, it has no norm to reflect.gt;gt; gt;gt;gt; gt;gt;gt;Modern aesthetics is crippled by its dependence upon the concept of "beauty." As if art were "about" beauty--as science is "about" truth!gt;gt; gt;gt;gt; gt;gt;gt;[gt;The contemporary American artist R. Bgt;.] Kitaj: "found + assisted object"gt;gt; gt;gt;gt; gt;gt;gt;...gt;gt; gt;gt;gt;For Sarraute piece, read early essay by [Pierre] Boulez (printed by "Domaine Musicale") "On Hedonism."gt;gt; gt;gt;gt;For [gt;SS's essay on the contemporary French anthropologist Claudegt;] Lévi-Strauss, read [Paul] Ricoeur essay in gt;Espritgt;gt;gt; gt;gt;gt;...gt;gt; gt;gt;gt;[gt;The contemporary German composer Karlheinzgt;] Stockhausen's work abolishes the notion of gt;compositiongt;--proposesgt;gt;gt;gt;1.gt; Any rhythmic structure may be organically adapted to any tempo; 2) unlimited cycle of permutations.gt;gt;gt;Boulez rejects (1) + (2)gt;gt; gt;gt;gt;...gt;gt;gt;gt;9/23/64 New Yorkgt;gt;Inspiratory emphasisgt;gt; gt;gt;gt;Inhale > lower (flatten diaphragm) > suppress sensation--pelvic, i.e. sexualgt;gt; gt;gt;gt;Therefore secret of a feeling is learning to breathe gt;outgt;gt;gt; gt;gt;gt; gt;gt;gt;Spiritual chemistry ...gt;gt;Effect irradiates into other zones ...gt;gt;Cut the dialogue into panels and make a great screen of ...gt;gt;gt;gt;10/3/64gt;gt;gt;Flaming Creatures isgt; sexual, sexually stimulating (not just a spoof on sex) in the same sense that sex is also silly, grotesque, awkward, ugly.gt;gt; gt;gt;gt;One man thinks before he acts. Another man thinks after he acts. Each is of the opinion that the other thinks too much.gt;gt; gt;gt;gt;A murder: like a flashbulb (panoramic photo) going off in a dark forest, lighting up all the obscure, frightened woodland life. (Dallas--Nov. 1963)gt;gt; gt;gt;gt; gt;gt;gt;Subject: the second birth of the selfgt;gt; gt;gt;gt;Through the mad "project"gt;gt; gt;gt;gt;Shedding the past--exile--aborting the selfgt;gt; gt;gt;gt; gt;gt;gt;gt;Principle of redundancygt; (e.g. traffic lights) red < > green up < > down stop < > gogt;gt; gt;gt;gt;Get more precise communicationgt;gt; gt;gt;gt;English is so precise because it's so redundant ... > cf. [gt;the twentieth-century English literary critic and poet Williamgt;] Empson on complex words: words have resonances, halos, vibrations. Literary work is strung on them. "E.g. "fool," "honest"gt;gt; gt;gt;gt;Vs. a telegramgt;gt; gt;gt;gt;Redundancy necessary to convey info--but what is the connection with beauty, the non-utilitariangt;gt; gt;gt;gt;Mathematicians say of a certain equation "it's beautiful" because it is so simple, so gt;nongt;-redundant.gt;gt; gt;gt;gt;Connection between style (stylishness) and redundancy [--] e.g. films of von Sternberggt;gt; gt;gt;gt;Connection between redundancy and "the replicate."gt;gt; gt;gt;gt; gt;gt;gt;Women are "politically transparent" in the 19th century.gt;gt; gt;gt;gt; gt;gt;gt;We have all the elements--just have to bolt them down, then attack the warhead--then launch it.gt;gt; gt;gt;gt; gt;gt;gt;Seepgt;gt;Catenary curvegt;gt; gt;gt;gt;So much in modern life that can be enjoyed, once one gets over the nausea of the replicate.gt;gt; gt;gt;gt;Moralists like [gt;the twentieth-century American writer on urbanism Lewisgt;] Mumford vs. aesthetes like [gt;the contemporary American architectgt;] Philip Johnson.gt;gt; gt;gt;gt;Seriousness--the highest form is the same as irony.gt;gt;gt;gt;11/1/64gt;gt;I was gt;afraidgt; of my mother, physically afraid. Not afraid of her anger, afraid of her decreasing the little emotional nourishment she supplied me, but afraid of her. Afraid of Rosie [gt;SS's nanny, Rose McNultygt;], too.gt;gt; gt;gt;gt;Mother slapped me across the face--for talking back, for contradicting her.gt;gt; gt;gt;gt;I've always made excuses for her. I've never allowed my anger, my outrage.gt;gt; gt;gt;gt; gt;gt;gt;If I can't bring judgment against the world, I must bring it against myself.gt;gt; gt;gt;gt;I'm learning to bring judgment against the world.gt;gt; gt;gt;gt; gt;gt;gt;As a writer, I tolerate error, poor performance, failure. So what if I fail some of the time, if a story or an essay is no good? Sometimes things gt;dogt; go well, the work gt;isgt; good. And that's enough.gt;gt; gt;gt;gt;It's just this attitude I don't have about sex. I don't tolerate error, failure--therefore I'm anxious from the start, and therefore I'm more likely to fail. Because I don't have the confidence that some of the time (without my forcing anything) it will be good.gt;gt; gt;gt;gt; gt;gt;gt;If only I could feel about sex as I do about writing! That I'm the vehicle, the medium, the instrument of some force beyond myself.gt;gt; gt;gt;gt;I experience the writing as given to me--sometimes, almost, as dictated. I let it come, try not to interfere with it. I respect it, because it's me and yet more than me. It's personal and transpersonal, both.gt;gt; gt;gt;gt;I would like to feel that way about sex, too. As if "nature" or "life" used me. And I trust that, and let myself be used.gt;gt; gt;gt;gt;An attitude of surrender to oneself, to life. Prayer. Let it be, whatever it will be. I give myself to it.gt;gt; gt;gt;gt;Prayer: peace and voluptuousness.gt;gt; gt;gt;gt;In this, no room for shame and anxiety as to how the little old self rates in the light of some objective standard of performance.gt;gt; gt;gt;gt;One must be devout about sex. Then, one won't dare to be anxious. Anxiety will never be revealed for what it is--spiritual meanness, pettiness, small-mindedness.gt;gt; gt;gt;gt; gt;gt;gt;Q: Do you succeed always?gt;gt;A: Yes, I succeed thirty percent of the time.gt;gt;Q: Then you don't succeed always.gt;gt;A: Yes I do. To succeed 30% of the time is always.gt;gt; gt;gt;gt; gt;gt;gt; gt;gt;gt; gt;gt;gt;Check:gt;gt; gt;gt;gt;Article by Lévi-Strauss on Christmas in gt;The New Societygt; (mag[azine])gt;gt; gt;gt;gt;[Marcel] Proust, "About Flaubert's Style," in gt;Pleasures and Daysgt;, ed[gt;ited by the American literary critic F. Wgt;.] Dupee (Anchor [Books])gt;gt; gt;gt;gt;gt;Hermesgt;--new French mag[azine] on mysticism ([Mircea] Eliade, [Alan] Watts, [Henry] Corbin, etc.)gt;gt; gt;gt;gt;[gt;The contemporary French writer Michelgt;] Butor, gt;The Four Seasonsgt;, gt;New World Writinggt; (Rothko--soft Mondrians)gt;gt; gt;gt;gt;[gt;SS marked an X in the margin:gt;] Any trans[lation] in English of Louis-René des Forêts ([gt;published by Johngt;] Calder in London)gt;gt; gt;gt;gt; gt;gt;gt;Science fiction--gt;gt;Popular mythology for contemporary gt;negativegt; imagination about the impersonalgt;gt; gt;gt;gt;Otherworld creatures = the it, what takes overgt;gt; gt;gt;gt; gt;gt;gt;Essay: style, silence, repetition.gt;gt; gt;gt;gt; gt;gt;gt;Kurt Goldstein, gt;Language and Language Disturbancesgt; (Grune & Stratton, 1960)--gt;gt;gt;aphasia readgt;gt;gt; gt;gt;gt; gt;gt;gt;Noble feelings / ignoble feelings Dignity Respect Loyalty to oneselfgt;gt; gt;gt;gt; gt;gt;gt;...gt;gt; gt;gt;gt;Comparison between [Paul] Klee + Valérygt;gt;gt;Theorygt; + artgt;gt; gt;gt;gt; gt;gt;gt;[gt;The Russian-born American constructivist sculptor Naumgt;] Gabo: negative spacegt;gt; gt;gt;gt;To "construct" something is to carve the space out of it (to disclose the space).gt;gt; gt;gt;gt;[Gabo:] "We deny volume as an expression of space ... We reject solid mass as an element of plasticity." (1920)gt;gt; gt;gt;gt;Gabo: Must see the sculpture from all sides--it's three dimensional.gt;gt; gt;gt;gt;Innovations: Use of new materials--plastic, celluloid, wire; + making sculpture move (either to see it / or because the movement gt;isgt; the subject) > e.g. gt;Kinetic Constructiongt; (1920)gt;gt; gt;gt;gt;Bring sculpture close to architecture.gt;gt; gt;gt;gt; gt;gt;gt;[Marcel] Duchamp: Readymades as not art, but a philosophical pointgt;gt; gt;gt;gt; gt;gt;gt;gt;Stylegt;:gt;gt; gt;gt;gt;Circular style ([Gertrude] Stein) > read Donald Sutherland's book [gt;the American critic, playwright, and librettist, who, in 1951, wrotegt; Gertrude Stein: A Biography of Her Work]gt;gt; gt;gt;gt;Cf. [Jean-Paul] Sartre on "the white style" of [Albert] Camus's gt;L'Étrangergt; [gt;The Strangergt;]gt;gt; gt;gt;gt;...gt;gt; gt;gt;gt; gt;gt;gt;W[illiam] James acknowledged that "morbid-mindedness"--defined it, rather--as ranging over "a wider scale of experience" than healthy-mindednessgt;gt; gt;gt;gt;--the "value" in what is evil or lunaticgt;gt; gt;gt;gt; gt;gt;gt;[Erik] Satie's "furniture music"--background, not meant to be listened to with all one['s] attentiongt;gt; gt;gt;gt;Andy Warhol's filmsgt;gt; gt;gt;gt; gt;gt;gt;Read [gt;the contemporary American literary critic Jgt;.] Hillis Miller bookgt;gt; gt;gt;gt;Art is a form of consciousnessgt;gt; gt;gt;gt; gt;gt;gt;...gt;gt; gt;gt;gt;One difference between gt;naminggt; a feeling ("I feel terrible") and gt;expressinggt; it ("Ohh ... .") is the response you get: "Why?" or "What's the matter?" By naming a feeling gt;in order to give vent togt; it--a practice very much promoted by psychoanalysis--you make a co-reasoner out of your consoler.gt;gt; gt;gt;gt; gt;gt;gt;Use of markings on a roll of film (the "leader") as part of the content of the film: Bruce Conner's gt;A Moviegt; (like exposing the structure of a building, or--Brecht--the mechanism of the set)gt;gt; gt;gt;gt;Cross-cutting between old film quote + event in film:gt;gt; gt;gt;gt;Godard, gt;Vivre Sa Viegt; [featuring] Renée Falconetti + Anna Karinagt;gt;[gt;The American experimental filmmaker Kennethgt;] Anger, gt;Scorpio Risinggt; [gt;where he crosscuts between material from Cecil Bgt;.] DeMille's gt;King of Kingsgt; + motorcyclist's orgy (sound track: "Going to a Party" [gt;actually "Party Lights"gt;])gt;gt;[gt;The Spanish director Luisgt;] Buñuel's gt;L'Age d'Orgt; [gt;with itsgt;] use of Christ to illustrate De Sade episodegt;gt; gt;gt;gt; gt;gt;gt;Paul Ricoeur, "Structure et herméneutique," in gt;Espritgt;, Nov. 1963gt;gt; gt;gt;gt;3 other essays on Lévi-Strauss in same issue, plus interviewgt;gt; gt;gt;gt; gt;gt;gt;...gt;gt; gt;gt;gt;18th century the great period of camp--distributed through whole culturegt;gt; gt;gt;gt;[Alexander] Pope--Spurious passage in "Epistle to Dr Arbuthnot": " ... And he himself one vile Antithesis."gt;gt; gt;gt;gt;[William] Congreve--Symmetrical (like billiards): passion A, passion Bgt;gt; gt;gt;gt;Molière?gt;gt; gt;gt;gt;...gt;gt; gt;gt;gt;18th century drama: no development--whole character gt;theregt;--instant feelings summed up in an epigram--love born or diesgt;gt; gt;gt;gt;...gt;gt; gt;gt;gt; gt;gt;gt;Characteristics of art nouveau paintings + drawings:gt;gt;Symmetrical composition, attenuated curves, spare use of color, gt;slendergt; bodies.gt;gt;Le Rouget's restaurant--Art Nouveau décor near Gare Montparnassegt;gt; gt;gt;gt; gt;gt;gt;...gt;gt; gt;gt;gt;gt;Pornographygt;gt;gt; gt;gt;gt;De Sade, Andrea de Nerciat, Restif de la Bretonne >>> triumvirate of 18th-century French libertinesgt;gt; gt;gt;gt;Earl of Rochester [John Wilmot], John Cleland >>> English (N.B. [Laurence] Sterne, John Wilkes, + Robert Burns all belonged to erotic secret societies. Wilkes the Medmenham Monks, Burns the Caledonian Muses)gt;gt; gt;gt;gt;18th century--no guilt; atheism; more philosophical, polemicalgt;gt;19th century--guilt, horrorgt;gt; gt;gt;gt;Andrea de Nerciat--career officer in French army (father was Italian); got to be colonel:gt;gt;Two great philosophical works:gt;gt; gt;gt;gt;[gt;Radiguet's novelgt;] gt;Le Diable au Corpsgt; (3 vols.)--alternates between narrative + dialogue; starts with countess (slut) + marquise (the heroine--like [gt;Proust's charactergt;] Duchesse de Guermantes--beautiful, worldly, rich; everyone curries her favor)gt;gt;Affair between the two--+ contesse tells stories.gt;gt;Sex never condemned, always pleasurablegt;gt;A lot of social satiregt;gt; gt;gt;gt;[gt;Andrea de Nerciat's novelgt;] gt;Les Aphroditesgt; (3 vols.)--a secret sexual society; tells stories.gt;gt; gt;gt;gt;Also a novel, gt;Monrosegt;; and gt;Féliciagt; (best known book--erotic but gallant, not pornographic)gt;gt; gt;gt;gt; gt;gt;gt;...gt;gt;Death = being completely inside one's own headgt;gt;Life = the worldgt;gt; gt;gt;gt;...gt;gt;gt;gt;11/4/64gt;gt;Proust, in a letter:gt;gt; gt;gt;gt;"What's more, ever since Hervieu, Hermant, etc., snobbish has been so frequently represented from the outside that I wanted to try to show it inside the person, like a wonderful kind of imagination ..."gt;gt; gt;gt;gt;Like campgt;gt; gt;gt;gt; gt;gt;gt;One criticizes in others what one recognizes + despises in oneself. For example, an artist who is revolted by another's ambitiousness.gt;gt; gt;gt;gt; gt;gt;gt;Underneath the depression, I found my anxiety.gt;gt; gt;gt;gt; gt;gt;gt;gt;Historygt; of filmgt;gt; gt;gt;gt;This is the first generation of directors who are aware of film history; cinema now entering era of self-consciousnessgt;gt;Nostalgiagt;gt; gt;gt;gt;[gt;The German film scholar and writer Siegfriedgt;] Kracauer: movies--anti-art; anti-auteurgt;gt; gt;gt;gt; gt;gt;gt;...gt;gt; gt;gt;gt;Femininity = weakness (or being strong through weakness)gt;gt; gt;gt;gt;No image of strong woman who is just strong, + takes the consequencesgt;gt; gt;gt;gt;...gt;gt;gt;gt;11/17/64gt;gt;Conceiving all relationships as between a master and a slave ...gt;gt; gt;gt;gt;In each case, which was I to be? I found more gratification as a slave; I was more nourished. But--master or slave, one is equally unfree. One cannot step away, get out of character.gt;gt; gt;gt;gt;A relationship of equals is one not tied to "roles."gt;gt; gt;gt;gt; gt;gt;gt;Where I detected envy, I forbore to criticize--lest my motives be impure, and my judgment less than impartial. I was benevolent. I was malicious only about strangers, people who were indifferent.gt;gt; gt;gt;gt;It seems noble.gt;gt; gt;gt;gt;But, thereby, I rescued my "superiors," those I admired, from my dislike, my aggression. Criticism was reserved only for those "beneath" me, whom I didn't respect ... I used my power of criticism to confirm the status quo.gt;gt; gt;gt;gt; gt;gt;gt;Wayne Andrews, [gt;Architecture, Ambition and Americans: A Social History ofgt; ] gt;American Architecturegt;gt;gt;John Cage, gt;Silencegt;gt;gt;Sir Oliver Lodge, gt;Raymondgt;gt;gt;Daisy Ashford, gt;The Young Visitorsgt;gt;gt;gt;gt;11/22/64gt;gt;Read Max Beerbohm, "Savonarola Brown," [gt;Ronald Firbank's 1926 novelgt;, Concerning the Eccentricities of] gt;Cardinal Pirelligt;, Diary of Nijinskygt;gt; gt;gt;gt;Soft-focus thinking (as in the 4 lectures) whose virtue is aliveness, being improvised, being contemporary to the situation in which it's uttered;------vs sharp-focus thinking (writing) which is more accurate, complex, unrepetitive, but has to be prepared in advance--like a Greek statue with blank eyesgt;gt; gt;gt;gt; gt;gt;gt;Say I have a dreary feeling (Z) which I want to combat--a feeling which gives rise to something I repeatedly do or say that I wish I didn't.gt;gt; gt;gt;gt;If I merely gt;suppressgt; the behavior (if that's even possible) I recharge the feeling behind it.gt;gt; gt;gt;gt;Recipe for killing the feeling: gt;Act it outgt; in an exaggerated form.gt;gt; gt;gt;gt;The chagrin one feels then is far more memorable and therapeutic.gt;gt; gt;gt;gt; gt;gt;gt;"depends where I get flung off ..."gt;gt; gt;gt;gt;read [gt;the Austrian-British art historian Ernstgt;] Gombrich, gt;Wilhelm Meistergt; [gt;Goethe's second novel,gt; The Apprenticeship of Wilhelm Meister, gt;published in 1795gt;]gt;gt; gt;gt;gt; gt;gt;gt;Injured, scarred gt;in the facegt;gt;gt; gt;gt;gt;gt;Marked Womangt; [gt;1937 Hollywood film directed by Lloyd Bacon and Michael Curtiz and starring Bette Davis, Humphrey Bogart, and Lola Lanegt;]gt;gt; gt;gt;gt;Bette Davis--M.gt;gt;gt;• smoking at beginning (sign of independence from boss--Johnny Vanning / blows smoke in his face).gt;gt;gt; gt;gt;gt; gt;gt;gt;Nietzsche: "no facts, only interpretations."gt;gt; gt;gt;gt;Art is never a photograph.gt;gt; gt;gt;gt; gt;gt;gt;Mimetic theory of art: art < > realitygt;gt; gt;gt;gt;Plato: measures art by the standard of gt;truthgt;gt;gt; gt;gt;gt;Aristotle: emotional effect of lying.gt;gt; gt;gt;gt; gt;gt;gt;Social facts > "fact"gt;gt; gt;gt;gt;Psychological facts > "imagination"gt;gt; gt;gt;gt;Many different relations between art + factgt;gt;gt;gt;1.gt; reportorialgt;gt;gt;2.gt; ironic--pop art [--] Andy Warhol's gt;129 Diegt;; front page of [gt;Hearst-owned New York tabloid that folded in 1963gt;] gt;Daily Mirrorgt;gt;gt;gt;3.gt; Patronizing reality: gt;New Yorkergt; fiction; some passages in gt;The Groupgt;gt;gt;gt; gt;gt;gt; gt;gt;gt;Problem as a writer: Never think of model Don't think of units of art as factsgt;gt; gt;gt;gt;"factless"gt;gt; gt;gt;gt; gt;gt;gt;Erwin Straus, "The Upright Posture," gt;Journal of Abnormal Psychologygt;, 1942gt;gt; gt;gt;gt; gt;gt;gt;...gt;gt; gt;gt;gt;Resurrections (in literature):gt;gt; gt;gt;gt;Osamu Dazai, gt;No Longer Humangt;, gt;The Setting Sungt;gt;gt; gt;gt;gt;[Jan Potocki,] gt;The Saragossa Manuscriptgt;gt;gt; gt;gt;gt;[Ghislain de Diesbach,] gt;The Toys of Princesgt;gt;gt; gt;gt;gt;[Machado de Assis,] gt;Epitaph of a Small Winnergt;gt;gt; gt;gt;gt;[Witold Gombrowicz,] gt;Ferdydurkegt;gt;gt; gt;gt;gt;[Stendhal,] gt;Armancegt;gt;gt; gt;gt;gt;[Knut Hamsun,] gt;Pangt;gt;gt; gt;gt;gt; gt;gt;gt;"Another merry day"gt;gt; gt;gt;gt;"Acting up a storm"gt;gt;...gt;gt; gt;gt;gt;On [Antonin] Artaud-[Jacques] Rivière correspondance, pp. 45-52 of [Maurice] Blanchot, gt;Le Livre à Venirgt;.gt;gt;...gt;gt;Read [Thomas] Carlyle, gt;Sartor Resartusgt; on the dandy [--] "the dandiacal body"gt;gt; gt;gt;gt;"J'ai le cafard" [gt;"I'm blue"gt;]gt;gt;gt;gt;12/3/64gt;gt;Interesting new sculpture rejects the pedestal ([gt;the American sculptor Georgegt;] Sugarman etc.)gt;gt; gt;gt;gt;Refinement, finesse: Camp, based on an exaggeration of this value, makes this central; it isn't. Vigor, vitality is at least as important. But it is important. Cf. Jasper Johnsgt;gt; gt;gt;gt;Essay on camp an example of the larger point--the imp[ortance] of--the idea of--sensibility. Talking about Camp a way of making this point.gt;gt; gt;gt;gt;Modern art related to 20th century revolution in the graphic arts. We are first generation in human history to live surrounded by print artifacts (comics, billboards, newspapers)--a second nature.gt;gt; gt;gt;gt;[gt;The American art historian Meyergt;] Schapiro one of the first to be interested in [Jackson] Pollock, [Willem] de Kooning (late 40s)gt;gt; gt;gt;gt;Find Schapiro essay on modern art in gt;The Listenergt;, 1956gt;gt; gt;gt;gt; gt;gt;gt;Warhol ideas: single image (monotonized); the impersonalgt;gt; gt;gt;gt; gt;gt;gt;"What is it?" before "Is it any good?"gt;gt; gt;gt;gt; gt;gt;gt;André Breton, a connoisseur of freedomgt;gt; gt;gt;gt; gt;gt;gt;DUCHAMPgt;gt; gt;gt;gt; gt;gt;gt;Meyer Schapirogt;gt; gt;gt;gt;"The Nature of Abstract Art," gt;Marxist Quarterlygt;, vol. 1, no. 1 (1937) reply by Delmore Schwartz, a reply to that by Schapiro, op. cit., vol. 1, no. 2 (April-June 1937)gt;gt; gt;gt;gt;"Style" (Kroeber vol.) [gt;Schapiro's essay in Alfred Louis Kroeber'sgt; Anthropology Today]gt;gt; gt;gt;gt;On Modern Art, gt;The Listenergt;, 1956gt;gt; gt;gt;gt;"Metaphysics for the Movies," gt;Marxist Quarterlygt;, Vol. 1, No. 3 (Oct.-Dec. 1937)--attack on Mortimer Adlergt;gt;gt;• "On the Aesthetic Attitude in Romanesque Art," in [K. Bharatha Iyer,] gt;Art & Thoughtgt; ...gt;gt;gt; gt;gt;gt; gt;gt;gt;gt;Priest and Worker: The Autobiography of Henri Perringt; Translated and with an introduction by Bernard Wallgt;gt; gt;gt;gt;...gt;gt; gt;gt;gt; gt;gt;gt;[gt;There is a box drawn around this:gt;] Stylegt;gt; gt;gt;gt;Style as mode of change in art.gt;gt;Consciousness of style the same as consciousness of historicity of the art workgt;gt;Velocity of styles in contemporary paintinggt;gt; gt;gt;gt;Contra "style," aestheticism--cf. [gt;a friend of SS's beginning in the 1960s, the French critic Rolandgt;] Barthes, "Les Maladies du Costume de Théâtre"--gt;Essais Critiquesgt;gt;gt; gt;gt;gt;...gt;gt; gt;gt;gt; gt;gt;gt;gt;Work of Artgt;gt;gt; gt;gt;gt;An experiment, a research (solving a "problem") vs form of playgt;gt; gt;gt;gt;...gt;gt; gt;gt;gt; gt;gt;gt;[Michelangelo Antonioni's film] gt;L'Avventuragt;gt;gt;Hard to believe [it was made] only four years ago ...gt;gt; gt;gt;gt;Only learn at the end that Claudia is poorgt;gt; gt;gt;gt;...gt;gt; gt;gt;gt;A's scenes always have the same duration on screen as they w[oul]d in life--no manipulation of time in the cutting--gt;gt; gt;gt;gt;"Abandon the supernatural casuistry of positives + negatives"--A's refusal to make a villain of Sandrogt;gt; gt;gt;gt;Makes films about emotions, but refuses to let his actors "emote" (à la [gt;the Italian film director Federicogt;] Fellini + Visconti)--that w[oul]d be "rhetoric"gt;gt; gt;gt;gt;New style: "Against Rhetoric"gt;gt; gt;gt;gt;...gt;gt; gt;gt;gt;A's films are "literary" in that they are full of complex referencesgt;gt; gt;gt;gt;Self-conscious film-making--Fitzgerald[gt;'sgt; Tender Is the Night] in gt;L'Agt;[gt;vventuragt;]gt;gt; gt;gt;gt;...gt;gt; gt;gt;gt;(They have literate scripts) but not like traditional storiesgt;gt; gt;gt;gt;> A's films: a kind of writing ("caméra-stylo" [gt;literally "camera-pen" of the French film critic and director Alexandregt; ] Astruc) done by the director who "uses" the actorsgt;gt;gt;• Why does one "write"?gt;gt;• Answer--idea of a film as gt;recording, incarnatinggt;gt;gt;gt;Material must necessarily be diffuse, non-dramatic (hence, failure of [gt;Antonioni's 1957 filmgt;] gt;Il Gridogt;)gt;gt; gt;gt;gt; gt;gt;gt;...gt;gt; gt;gt;gt;[gt;The next three entries have a box drawn around themgt;.]gt;gt; gt;gt;gt;A number is the set of all sets which are equivalent to each othergt;gt; gt;gt;gt;A cardinal number is the class of all similar classesgt;gt; gt;gt;gt;To every finite set can be assigned a cardinal numbergt;gt;gt;gt;12/6/64gt;gt;My friendships (Paul--[gt;SS's friend the American artist Paul Thekgt;] etc.) are weightless. Now, since------, I experience them as maintenance problems. I'm juggling my schedule, paying dues ...gt;gt; gt;gt;gt;"Every life is a defense of a particular form." [--gt;the Austrian composer Antongt;] von Weberngt;gt; gt;gt;gt;(Kitaj painting)gt;gt; gt;gt;gt; gt;gt;gt;Read:gt;gt; gt;gt;gt;Buy: OUP editions of [gt;the Welsh alchemist and Rosicrucian Thomasgt;] Vaughan, [Andrew] Marvell, + [gt;the metaphysical poet Richardgt;] Crashaw.gt;gt; gt;gt;gt;Vaughan sermon on dyinggt;gt; gt;gt;gt;[gt;The French writer Alfred de Musset's 1834 playgt;) gt;Loren-zacciogt; ...gt;gt; gt;gt;gt;Walter Benjamin's book on the baroque.gt;gt; gt;gt;gt;Frederic Farrar, gt;History of Interpretationgt; (1886)gt;gt; gt;gt;gt;Poe--storiesgt;gt; gt;gt;gt;Iris Murdoch, "How I Write a Novel," gt;Yale Reviewgt;, spring '64gt;gt; gt;gt;gt;Franz Borkenau, book on 17th century (1934)--Pascal, Racine, Descartes, Hobbes [gt;The Transition from the Feudal to the Bourgeois World Viewgt;]gt;gt;gt;• John Cage, gt;Silencegt;gt;gt;gt;[gt;The Russian filmmaker Vsevolodgt;] Pudovkin on film [gt;Film Technique and Film Actinggt;]gt;gt; gt;gt;gt;...gt;gt;gt;gt;12/19/64gt;gt;Novel: discovering the life of the body (posture, gesture Carolee's [gt;the American performance artist Carolee Schneemanngt;] "I had to deal with the fire," [gt;the Swedish sculptorgt;] Claes Oldenburg's "very involved these days with hallways") ... two characters--one who makes it, one who doesn't.gt;gt;gt;gt;gt;Copyright © 2012 by David Rieffgt;gt; gt;gt;gt;Continues...gt; gt; gt;gt; gt;gt;gt; Excerpted from gt;As Consciousness Is Harnessed to Fleshgt; by gt;Susan Sontaggt; Copyright © 2012 by Susan Sontag. Excerpted by permission.gt; All rights reserved. No part of this excerpt may be reproduced or reprinted without permission in writing from the publisher.gt;Excerpts are provided by Dial-A-Book Inc. solely for the personal use of visitors to this web site.