Highly irregular : why tough, through, and dough don't rhyme - and other oddities of the English language

What the Hell, English? The Colonel of Truth: What is the deal with the word colonel? Fairweather Vowels: Why is y a sometimes vowel? Hey Large Spender: Why do we order a large drink and not a big one? Crazy English: Why do we drive on a parkway and park on a driveway? What the Hell is with What the Hell? Blame the Barbarians Thoroughly Tough, Right?: Why don't tough, through, and dough rhyme? Getting and Giving the General Gist: Why are there two ways to say the letter g? Egging them On: What is the egg doing in egg on? I Ated All the Cookies: Why do we have irregular verbs? It Goes by so Fastly: Why do we move slowly but not fastly? And step softly but not hardly? Elegantly Clad and Stylishly Shod: Why is it clean-shaven and not clean-shaved? Six of One, Half a Twoteen of the Other: Why is it eleven, twelve instead of oneteen, twoteen? Woe is We: Why is it woe is me, not I am woe? Blame the French A Sizeable, Substantial, Extensive Vocabulary: Why are there so many synonyms? Don't inSULT me with that INsult: Why are there noun-verb pairs that only differ by stress? Without Fail: Why is it without fail and not failure or failing? Ask the Poets Laureate: Why is it sum total and not total sum? Of Unrequited Lof: Why isn't of spelled with a v? Blame the Printing Press Uninvited Ghuests: Why are ghost, ghastly, and ghoul spelled with a gh? Gnat, Knot, Comb, Wrist: Why do we have silent consonants? Coulda, Shoulda, Woulda: Why is there a silent l? Peek, Peak, Piece, People: Why are there so many ways to write the 'ee' sound? Crew, Grew, Stew, New...Sew?: Why don't sew and new rhyme? Blame the snobs Get Receipts on those Extra Letters: Why is there a p in receipt, an l in salmon, and a b in doubt? Asthma, Phelgm, and Diarrhea: Why all the extra letters? The Data are in on the Octopi: What's the deal with Latin plurals? Too Much Discretion: Keeping discreet and discrete discrete, discreetly Pick a Color/Colour: Can't we get this standardized/standardised? Blame ourselves Couth, Kempt, and Ruthful: Why have some words lost their better halves? If it Ain't Broke, Don't Scramble It: Why is There no egg in eggplant? Proving the Rule: How can an exception prove a rule? How Dare You Say How Try You!: Why dare isn't like the other verbs Release the Meese: Why isn't the plural of moose meese? Why do Noses Run and Feet Smell?: A corny joke with a serious answer Negative Fixation: Why can you say "this won't take long" but not "this will take long"? Abbreviation Deflation: Why is there an r in Mrs.? How it Comes to Be: How come we say how come? Phrasal Verbs, Let's Go Over Them: But don't try to "go them over." (You can look them over though) Terrible and Terrific, Awful and Awesome: How does the same root get opposite meanings? Literally Messed Up: How did literally get to mean figuratively? That's Enough, Now, English Acknowledgments Notes Bibliography