Silence is a scary sound : and other stories on living through the terrible twos and threes (Book, 2019) [WorldCat.org]
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Silence is a scary sound : and other stories on living through the terrible twos and threes

Author: Clint Edwards
Publisher: Salem, MA : Page Street Publishing Co., 2019. ©2019
Edition/Format:   Print book : Essay : EnglishView all editions and formats
Summary:
"I'd gone to college. I'd written for the New York Times. I had a solid credit score. How did I end up here? After his breakout hit book I'm Sorry ... Love, Your Husband, Clint Edwards has more laugh-out-loud tales, this time from the "terrible twos" and "threenager" phases each of his kids went through. His relatable toddler stories leave parents and caregivers cackling, and remind us all that no one is the perfect  Read more...
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Details

Genre/Form: Anecdotes
Humor
Document Type: Book
All Authors / Contributors: Clint Edwards
ISBN: 9781624148538 1624148530
OCLC Number: 1079849257
Notes: Includes index.
Description: 288 pages ; 21 cm
Contents: They start to walk and your life begins to end --
That time my two-year-old hit an old lady in the face with a snake --
The pediatrician won't do jack (but that isn't the point) --
Poop doesn't go easily down a tub drain --
Crazy decisions I've made in an attempt to save my carpet, furniture, and sanity --
Silence is a scary sound --
Unsolicited parenting advice and how I'd like to respond --
I deserved an award for changing that epic blowout, but I settled for a sleeve of oreos --
Things I will bill my kids for once they are adults (plus inflation) --
Locking doors is hilarious until the fire department arrives --
You know what's worse than waiting in the van with a toddler? Shopping with a toddler ... --
Crazy things said while up in the night with a toddler --
Toddler-induced temporary insanity --
"The hardest part is keeping them alive" --
Sometimes getting up in the night was the only chance I had to feel like a dad --
Hell is taking a two-year-old on a plane --
Let's take a trip to the emergency room --
How I plan to get revenge on my toddlers once they are adults --
Can we talk about hand, foot, and mouth for a moment? --
Forty real two-year-old pro tips --
Sometimes they really nail the gift-giving thing --
Disneyland is awesome unless you take a potty-training three-year-old --
If you haven't carried your child out of a store like a kicking and screaming surfboard, have you even parented today? --
It's cool, sometimes you just have to bribe the kid --
Threenagers talk a lot of smack for someone with crocs on the wrong feet --
You aren't going to get anything done, so you might as well build a fort --
Stupid questions I've been asked while caring for a threenager and the answers I'd love to give --
"I'm done! Wipe my butt!" --
Dad's never the favorite --
Face it, you'll never pee alone --
You will freak out over spilled juice, be sure to apologize --
When it's your last, you can't help but play favorites --
Once a child can turn on the TV in the morning, your life begins again.
Other Titles: Essays.
Responsibility: Clint Edwards.

Abstract:

After his breakout hit book I'm Sorry... Love, Your Husband, Clint Edwards has more laugh-out-loud tales from the "Terrible Twos" phase each of his three kids went through.  Read more...

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